As we reflect on the TV landscape of the past year, a selection of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to bafflingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.
The 'Sex and the City' Sequel
Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with woeful scripts, cringe-inducing character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show fought to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final season began, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then came an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Yet, fans certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob?
All’s Fair
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’
But that was practically the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a very rare no-star review, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the problems. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and consumption? The almost deliberate parade of cliches? Acting so poor they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Considering the restraining orders, abuse allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have gleaned it from this multi-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but flippant narcissist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.
The Gangster Drama
Dodgy characters convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.
Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just really dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which felt a bit basic.
With Love, Meghan
Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you watch them and are compelled to concede that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was akin to reading a marketing brochure. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey non-event of a series.
The Inheritance
It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too confusing to detail what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.
Too Much
How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.
The Sketch Show Return
Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the smart recruitment of talented younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Very much so.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We love the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
The Bonnie Blue Documentary
This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for explicit exploits as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.
